Sunday, July 8, 2012

The Bandaid

When I was a kid, probably 7 or 8, I skinned my knee really bad. I always had a skinned knee - usually both of them, but this particular time I had skinned and re-skinned it to the point I had asphalt in my knee from the road I was on when I crashed my bike. Well, for whatever reason, my Dad was the one to bandage my knee and he put some kind of brown ointment on it ( I still remember the smell) and then put gauze on top of it and wrapped it all the way around. Well, said brown stuff and the blood from the scrape made a sort of glue to the gauze and when it came time to change it, I was in some serious trouble. I remember soaking forever in the bathtub to try to get it to come off easier with no luck. I eventually just had to suck it up and rip it off as fast as I could. So I did, and it hurt like crazy, but it healed and I learned never to let Dad doctor my scrapes again! ;) I have had that memory in my head for the past week almost nonstop thinking about taking Madeline to daycare. 

I have been dreading this day since the day Madeline was born. She is going to real daycare tomorrow.  Not just to Stephanie's house for a few hours while I am in class or working. I have only cried about 6 times today and I am sure will only cry about 17 tomorrow. 

Pretty sure I have mentioned about a million times how much I hate change. I just keep thinking about how everyone there is essentially a stranger to her and she is going to wonder why in the heck she is there. I am sad for her, but I know once she gets used to it, she is going to love it. I have visited every daycare in town (that I didn't rule out by inspection reports), some of them twice, and the one she is going to three times. I know it is the right place - I have been preparing and praying for this for months. I keep telling myself that it is going to be good for all of us. She has to be there by 10am every day which stinks on the days I have school because I don't have to be in class until 1 but will have to drop her off so much earlier. But it gives me time to get things done without her like grocery shopping and working out which I have really been missing since I went back to school. Maybe even a lunch date or two with Terry! 

That being said, I cancelled a Bible study I really hoped to do at my house this summer. I just felt God telling me to take it off my plate. I kept feeling like it was going to be a source of contention for Terry and me since he already has her 3 to 4 nights a week while I am working. I just feel like our time as a family is more important right now because it really is so limited. Terry and I seem to be kind of high fiving as we pass each other out the door so I decided that since I am already off on Mondays to just leave it for family time so now we'll have two days a week as just us. Well, one day and one night at least. 

Anyway, I can tell I am tired because this post is so rambly! And because I just made up that word! So think about us ripping off our bandaid tomorrow and say a little prayer that Madeline does well and that this momma makes it through school tomorrow with very few tears! :) 

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