Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Update from Monday

My doctor called and said I had a giant cell tumor of the tendon sheath. Apparently not uncommon on the fingers or back of the hand but not very common on the palm of the hand. He said it will probably grow back but there's no way to know how long it will be before I see another one. I really couldn't care less how many times it comes back as long as it's not cancer.

What is really sick is that I have had a tough day today and I literally just had the thought "if I could only be rich and skinny". How disgusting is that? I found out just one day ago that I don't have cancer, I have a wonderful husband, a beautiful daughter, an amazing family, great friends, a nice house, more things than I will ever need...I could go one for pages but I won't -- you get the idea. I have SO many blessings, and yet, I am so ungrateful. I should be shot as my Pap would say. So I am going to go to bed and pray. First, I will ask for forgiveness and then I am going to ask for help like I probably should have done a couple of months ago. Maybe I should start asking what God wants from me rather than what I want from God. So now that I have been brutally honest and publicly chastised myself, I am going to bed - AFTER I pray! :)

*I promise I will have a long post tomorrow ALL about Madeline and not about me! *

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